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Anchors in the Storm

Anchors in the Storm

Anchors in the Storm: Using Mindfulness Skills to Navigate Distressing Moments.

When the Wave Hits

Life is inherently unpredictable. We all experience moments when distress, whether stemming from professional pressure, emotional conflict, or acute anxiety, feels like a wave about to pull us under. Our natural instinct is often to resist, analyze, or distract ourselves, but these responses frequently amplify the suffering.

The practice of mindfulness offers a powerful alternative: an anchor in the storm. Mindfulness, defined as paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally, is not about clearing your mind; it’s about changing your relationship with the distressing feeling itself (Kabat-Zinn, 1990). It is a foundational skill that helps you pause, observe, and ultimately create balance when you need it most. This post explores practical mindfulness techniques you can use to navigate the roughest emotional moments.

The Psychological Mechanism of Mindfulness.

When we experience distress, our sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight) activates. The physical and emotional sensations flood our system. The mind, meanwhile, often latches onto the feeling, generating stories: “This feeling will never end,” or “I can’t handle this.” This mental resistance fuels the emotional wave.

Mindfulness intervenes by fostering decentering, the ability to view thoughts and emotions as passing mental events, rather than absolute truths or facts about reality (Teasdale et al., 2002). Instead of being your anxiety, you observe the anxiety. This shift creates psychological space.

a lady on a mat meditating

Three Core Mindfulness Skills for Distress.

These skills can be used right in the moment of emotional activation, serving as immediate psychological anchors.

1. The STOP Skill (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed)

This simple acronym is highly effective for interrupting emotional spirals:

  • S – Stop: Halt whatever you are doing. Physically pause. Do not react to the thought or feeling instantly.
  • T – Take a Breath: Take two or three deep, conscious breaths, rooting yourself in the present moment.
  • O – Observe: Notice your experience without judgment. What sensations are in your body? What thoughts are repeating in your mind? Just label them (“Anxiety,” “Tightness,” “Worrying thought”).
  • P – Proceed: Act with intention, rather than react impulsively. Ask: “What is the wisest thing to do right now?”

2. The Anchor Technique

When overwhelming emotions strike, your mind jumps into the future (worry) or the past (regret). The Anchor Technique uses your senses to bring you back to the safety of the present:

  • Feet on the Ground: Shift your entire focus to the sensation of your feet against the floor. Notice the pressure, the texture of your shoes, and the stability of the ground beneath you.
  • Noticing Gravity: Focus on the sensation of gravity holding you in your chair. This is a subtle yet constant reminder that you are physically safe and supported.
  • Sound Check: Focus for 60 seconds purely on external sounds (traffic, birds, air conditioning). This pulls your attention away from the internal emotional noise.

3. Willingness vs. Willfulness.

  • This skill, often utilized in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), teaches us that struggling against a feeling often makes it stronger. Willfulness is the active refusal to tolerate discomfort. Willingness is the soft, open act of allowing the feeling to simply exist, without fighting it (Hayes et al., 2006).
  • When distressed, consciously soften your body (jaw, shoulders) and silently tell yourself, “I am willing to have this difficult feeling right now. It does not control me.” This disarms the power of the emotion.

Conclusion.

Mindfulness is a practical form of mental hygiene. By employing these techniques, you build the internal resources necessary to ride the wave of distress without being swept away. This ability to self-regulate is key to living a resilient life and maintaining your professional and personal equilibrium.

If you find that distressing moments are too frequent, too intense, or too difficult to navigate alone, the next step is often professional support. Learning how to truly create balance requires guidance and a safe space to process underlying issues.

The Create Balance Psychotherapy clinic offers experienced, compassionate, and specialized support to help you develop deep, sustained mindfulness skills. Our Geelong therapist team is here to help you move from surviving distress to thriving with resilience.

Contact the clinic today for more information or to book a confidential consultation.

References.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D. and Wilson, K. G. (2006). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An experiential approach to behavior change. New York: Guilford Press.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Delta.

Teasdale, J. D., Moore, R. G., Hayhurst, H., Pope, M., Williams, S. and Segal, Z. V. (2002). ‘Metacognitive awareness and the prevention of relapse in depression: Empirical evidence for the role of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy’, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 70(2), pp. 275-287.

Strengthening Relationships Through Couples Therapy

Strengthening Relationships Through Couples Therapy

Strengthening Relationships Through Couples Therapy: A Path to Create Balance.

Beyond the Honeymoon Phase

All relationships face periods of strain, disconnect, or conflict. While strong partnerships are built on love and commitment, they also require skills, skills that few of us are explicitly taught. When communication breaks down, conflicts escalate, or partners begin drifting apart, the instinctive reaction is often to try harder with the same failing strategies.

Couples therapy offers a structured, non-judgmental space to learn those missing skills. It’s not a last resort for crisis, but a proactive tool for growth and repair. Therapy is a path to understanding the deeper patterns, unmet needs, and defensive walls that prevent genuine connection. For many couples, seeking support is the first critical step toward restoring trust and helping both individuals create balance within the partnership.

What Couples Therapy is (and What It Isn’t).

Many people enter therapy with misconceptions. It’s helpful to clarify what the process truly entails:

  • It isn’t a blame session: A qualified therapist will not take sides or determine who is “right.” The focus is on the relationship dynamic as the client, not the individuals (Gottman & Silver, 2012).
  • It is about patterns: Therapy helps couples identify the vicious cycles they get caught in, such as the classic “pursuer/withdrawer” dynamic, and learn to step out of those roles.
  • It is about safety: The core goal is to establish emotional safety, allowing both partners to express vulnerability without fear of attack or dismissal.
a couple embracing

Three Core Pillars of Relationship Strengthening.

Couples’ therapy typically focuses on strengthening three key pillars that are essential for long-term satisfaction:

1. Communication That Connects.

Effective communication goes beyond just talking; it involves understanding. The therapist guides couples to move from accusatory language (“You always…”) to vulnerable expression (“I feel…”) (Johnson, 2019). Techniques like active listening, mirroring, and validation are taught to ensure both partners truly feel heard. This reduces defensiveness and opens the door for empathy.

2. Conflict Management and Repair.

All couples fight, but healthy couples know how to repair. Therapy addresses the content of the argument and the process of the argument. Key skills include:

  • De-escalation: Recognizing when to call a time-out before conflict becomes damaging.
  • The Repair Attempt: Learning to quickly and genuinely apologize or make a gesture of affection to prevent emotional wounds from festering. Research shows the quality of repair attempts is a major predictor of long-term stability (Gottman, 2011).

3. Fostering Emotional Intimacy.

Intimacy requires vulnerability. When relationships are stressed, partners often build walls to protect themselves. The therapist helps partners gently lower these walls by facilitating deeper conversations about personal history, fears, and core needs. This process reestablishes the deep, caring bond that initially brought the couple together.

Finding Your Relationship Anchor.

The journey of couples therapy is rarely quick, but it is deeply transformative. It equips you with a robust toolkit for navigating future stressors, transforming habitual conflict into opportunities for deeper connection.

Seeking help demonstrates immense strength and commitment to your partner. If you are noticing persistent cycles of conflict, a loss of emotional closeness, or a profound lack of balance in your relationship, now is the time to act.

Create Balance Psychotherapy is dedicated to helping partners repair and strengthen their bonds. Our Geelong therapist team specializes in evidence-based couples’ therapy models designed to foster lasting connection and security.

Contact us today to inquire about our ‘Couples’ therapy service and begin the path to a healthier, more balanced partnership.

References.

Gottman, J. M. (2011). The science of trust: Emotional attunement for couples. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

Gottman, J. M. and Silver, N. (2012). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert. New York: Harmony Books.

Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. New York: Guilford Press.

Edward Stubbings: Counsellor and Psychotherapist in Geelong

Edward Stubbings: Counsellor and Psychotherapist in Geelong

Experiencing distress in the aftermath of a traumatic event or feeling a sense of disconnection from oneself and those around you?

Meet Edward, Your Geelong-Based Trauma Therapist

edward stubbings

My name is Edward Stubbings, a trauma therapist, and counsellor here in Geelong. In my work at Create Balance, my focus is on you and your healing journey. I specialize in providing support for trauma therapy and healing attachment wounds.

Recover From Trauma in Geelong

I believe in you. I hold a deep trust in your capacity to heal and recover from trauma and other mental health challenges. I understand that your journey is your own, and I am here to support you every step of the way.

With my assistance, we will ‘co-create’ a safe space where curiosity, healing, meaning-making, and humour can occur. My commitment is to ensure you feel heard and understood, allowing you to find new choices and possibilities in your healing path.

I use a systemic approach because problems or symptoms are not isolated. They are always linked to a larger context, which can involve revisiting your past or understanding your family system and its bonds.

I  know the importance of symptom relief. Together, we will work on developing techniques to help you handle stress and improve your sleep, work life, relationships, and, ultimately, your overall wellbeing.

    Systemic Approach to Therapy

    Through past experiences, I understand that complex trauma can manifest in various ways, impacting both the emotional and psychological well-being of individuals. It’s crucial to recognize that symptoms such as anxiety and depression, irritability, and even self-harm are often rooted in past traumatic experiences. Through my systemic approach to therapy, I aim to help clients unravel these complex layers and provide relief by addressing not just the symptoms but also the underlying issues.  

    Whether you are seeking help for yourself or a loved one, know that there is hope for healing and growth. Together, we can work towards creating a brighter future filled with joy.  

    I am well-versed in evidence based therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which have been proven effective in treating trauma-related symptoms. Experiencing a traumatic event can often leave individuals feeling helpless and out of control with their family and friends feeling disconnected. My goal is to empower my clients by providing them with practical tools and techniques to manage their thoughts, emotions, self-esteem issues, alertness, and behaviors.  

    In addition to addressing the psychological effects, I also address its physical impact on the body. Psychological trauma can manifest in a variety of physical symptoms such as sleep difficulties, headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, and more. By incorporating mindfulness practices and relaxation techniques into therapy sessions, we can work towards healing both the mind and body.  

    At Create Balance, we know seeking help can be overwhelming and daunting. That’s why I strive to create a safe and non-judgmental space where clients feel comfortable sharing their experiences. Together, we will navigate through your unique journey towards healing and recovery.  

    My experience involves individual and group therapy. I also specialize in working with individuals who struggle with self-esteem issues and their impact on relationships and daily functioning. Additionally, I am trained in techniques to tackle stressors and reduce post-traumatic stress.

    I believe that everyone deserves to live a fulfilling and happy life, free from the constraints of PTSD. By seeking therapy, you are taking an important step towards reclaiming control over your life.

    In working with clients, I prioritize evidence-based techniques that have been proven effective in resolving challenges related to post-traumatic stress disorder. By fostering a deep sense of awareness with my clients, we work together to navigate through what they may be experiencing, including anxiety. Prolonged exposure therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are just a couple of the approaches I incorporate into my practice, but my main goal is to tailor treatment to best suit each individual’s needs in relation to cost. Individual and group therapy exploring the symptoms of PTSD can help to reduce or eliminate them, helping you find a new sense of control and peace in your life. 

    PTSD can manifest in many different ways, and it’s important to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. That’s why I take the time to truly understand each client and their unique experiences before creating a personalized treatment plan. My experience in working with people who have psychological issues has shown me the importance of addressing any underlying triggers, as well as developing coping mechanisms to manage symptoms.

    Through a combination of therapy sessions and self-care practices, my clients can gradually overcome their anxiety and find a sense of balance in their lives. We work on identifying negative thought patterns and replacing them with more positive ones, as well as incorporating relaxation techniques such as deep breathing. I also provide resources and a program for continued support outside of our sessions, including online communities support groups. This program involves individuals and groups.

    My ultimate goal as a therapist is for my clients to not only recover from tragic events but also find ways to thrive and live their lives with confidence. By working together, you can overcome any obstacles that may stand in your way towards living a fulfilling life. Let’s start this journey towards healing together. Get in touch!

    Trauma And Family Therapy

    With my background in family therapy, I draw from a range of cognitive and experiential techniques, including acceptance commitment therapy, somatic parts work, and art therapies.  I believe in a holistic approach to therapy and healing, addressing not only the mind but also the body and spirit.

    One of the main focuses of my therapy is helping clients cultivate elasticity. This means developing the ability to adapt and thrive despite difficult circumstances. Through therapy, you can learn how to cope with triggers and manage distressing emotions. You can also learn anger management and build a greater sense of self-awareness and self-compassion.

    Another essential aspect of my work is exploring new choices and possibilities for healing. Many people get stuck in patterns or ways of thinking that hold them back from reaching their full potential. Through therapy, we can uncover these limiting beliefs and behaviors and work towards creating new, healthier alternatives.

    But developing plasticity doesn’t just happen in the therapy room. It also requires consistent practice in your daily life. That’s why I provide tools and resources for you to continue developing outside of our sessions. These may include focused exercises, journaling prompts, or self-care practices.

    I believe that everyone has the potential to build resilience and find inner strength, even during the most difficult times. With support and guidance, you can learn how to bounce back from adversity and thrive in all aspects of your life.

    Remember, your healing journey is unique to you, depending on traumatic situations. We are not just determined by what has happened to us but also by what we become. As we tread on this journey, I will help you navigate your inner psychology terrain safely and in a way that is right for you. Feel free to reach out to us to undergo any of our day program.

    If you’re ready to take the first step, let’s have a confidential discussion about how I can assist you in your current situation.

    Make an appointment today, and let’s start on this path together. 

    Contact Information:

    Book an Appointment:

    Embark on your journey of healing and connection today by booking an appointment with Edward. For a confidential discussion about your specific needs and how Samuel can assist, call (03) 5222 1553

    Written by Shannon Bowman

    Does Your Relationship Need Help? Couples Counselling

    Does Your Relationship Need Help? Couples Counselling

    Couples Counselling in Geelong

    Are you seeking to strengthen your relationship or marriage? Create Balance Psychotherapy and Counselling’s exclusive relationship services in Geelong VIC, Australia are tailored to help couples navigate patterns, challenges or transitions that may strain their connections. Our team of experienced therapists and counsellors are always ready to attend to your needs in a safe space.

    Building Healthy Relationships With Marriage Counselling

    Healthy relationships are like nurturing plants; they demand constant care, guidance and tenderness to blossom. Our couples counselling approach, often called relationship or marriage counselling, is designed to bolster intimate bonds, recognise good communication patterns and facilitate emotional healing amidst daily obstacles. 

    couples riding a bicycle

    Unearthing the Role of Couples Therapy

    The heart of our couples counselling lies in addressing the discontent or disturbances in your relationship. We dive deep into unravelling the roots of emotional disconnection or distress, allowing your bond to emerge more robust and resilient and to overcome all these challenges. Our Counselling for couples therapy is geared towards relationship satisfaction and well-being. 

    Navigating Life’s Complexities Together with Couples Counselling

    Couples often find themselves at a crossroads, struggling to cope with issues such as communication gaps, unresolved disputes, and significant life changes. In these moments of crisis, whether due to infidelity, parenting dilemmas, or mental health issues, our relationship counselling becomes the strength guiding you towards repair and healing. 

    Our Approach: Inclusive and Comprehensive

    Our services extend to clients from varying backgrounds, marital statuses, and relationship types. These qualify us in carrying out relationship therapy. Whether you are married, cohabiting, engaged, or in a same-sex relationship, our core objective remains to foster understanding and growth, impacting your relationship.

    Insights Into the Relationship Counselling Process

    Your relationship therapist helps you improve communication skills, rebuild intimacy, appreciate your partner and redefine commitments. Understanding individual needs, improving communication, and promoting positive behaviour & empathy enables couples to conquer conflicts and breathe new life into their partnerships.

    Why Geelong Couples Consider Counselling 

    Recognising the significance of nurturing relationships, seeking counselling can be transformative. Active involvement, even in times of relational stability, can arm you with the ability to weather any storm the future might bring, and overcome any challenge no matter its intricacy, ensuring the longevity of your relationship. 

    Here’s How We Can Help

    Our counselling can help you achieve the following: improving trust, self-esteem, respect and communication, navigating the transition to parenthood, providing emotional support during or after fertility treatment, recovery from infidelity & betrayal, marriage preparation, and managing cross-cultural & interfaith relationships. 

    Our therapeutic approach is complimentary to our well-designed counselling services which equip couples facing challenges with new skills in tackling whatever frustration they are experiencing from the first session.

    Embrace a growth, understanding, and resilience journey with Create Balance Psychotherapy and Counselling sessions. 

    For more information, please get in touch with us. 

    Written by Shannon Bowman
    Transforming Lives: How EMDR Therapy Offers New Hope for PTSD Sufferers

    Transforming Lives: How EMDR Therapy Offers New Hope for PTSD Sufferers

    Are you struggling with the lingering effects of a traumatic event?

    Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy might be your transformative solution. Recent studies affirm the efficacy of EMDR in treating Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), offering a ray of hope to those affected.

    EMDR

    Understanding EMDR Therapy:

    EMDR therapy is a unique approach that helps individuals process and integrate traumatic memories. It involves recalling distressing events while receiving one of several types of bilateral sensory input, such as side-to-side eye movements. This process aims to reduce the emotional impact of past traumas.

    EMDR Evidence of Efficacy:

    • Proven Effectiveness Across Cultures and Conditions: EMDR therapy has demonstrated significant improvements in PTSD diagnosis and symptom reduction, outperforming other trauma treatments in diverse cultural settings (Wilson et al., 2018)
    • Beneficial for Comorbid Conditions: Research shows EMDR’s potential in treating trauma-related symptoms in patients with additional psychiatric disorders, contributing to overall mental health improvement (Valiente-Gómez et al., 2017).
    • Safe and Effective for Complex Cases: A landmark study reveals EMDR’s safety and effectiveness in patients with PTSD and severe psychotic disorders, with lasting results at a 6-month follow-up (Berg et al., 2015).
    • Addressing Diverse Populations: Although more research is needed in specific subgroups like children and combat veterans, EMDR has shown promise across various demographics (Rubin, 2003).
    • Cross-Cultural Success Stories: Even in challenging cross-cultural contexts, EMDR has been effective in significantly reducing trauma, depression, and anxiety symptoms (Schubert et al., 2016).

    Conclusion

    EMDR therapy stands out as a beacon of hope for those battling PTSD. Its unique approach and proven effectiveness make it a compelling option for many who have not found relief through traditional methods. 

    If you are seeking a path to healing and recovery from trauma, EMDR therapy could be the key to a brighter, more peaceful future.

    Written by Shannon Bowman